True Love Is An Inside Job


Love is deeply spiritual

🚨Spoiler Alert: I don’t believe in love at first sight. However, even long lasting relationships are built from attraction. We’re initially drawn to people based on how they look, their status, how they think, what they believe about the world and God, and what we’re looking for in a partner… The list goes on. We “fall in love” for many different reasons. What we have at that stage is a foundation on which to build. What we build upon that foundation is up to us. We go into a relationship with expectations and flaws, biases and fears, baggage and a hope for the future. Layer by layer, we unravel and unpack what lies beneath the surface. We discover who our partner really is. We marvel at their beauty and are unsettled by their ugly. Moreover, we discover who we truly are.

Love is a mirror

At this point our ego is so uncomfortable, it’s a miracle we’re still in it. Our partner is seldom who we want them to be; they’re imperfect and flawed just as we are. They have a history and insecurities just as we do. They bring out the best in us as much as they push us out of our comfort zones. This is good, we grow this way… but at times the vulnerability is overwhelming. Our ego keeps yelling “Run and hide!” But our heart knows it is in the right place. We argue and disagree, we might even fight to control and change our partner based on our fears. Their insecurities highlight our insecurities and we sometimes question if this is the right thing for us. Their presence forces us to face our demons and deal with parts of ourselves we’d rather pretend don’t exist.

Love is an inside job

If we persevere long enough, we finally realise that the only person we have the power and responsibility to change is ourselves. We now know that expecting someone to constantly fill our love tank is a big ask! Especially when our tank has holes we aren’t willing to close… insecurities are holes, fears based on our past experiences are the holes making our love tank leak. We can use the mirror that is love to look inside ourselves and work on what needs improvement, we can seal the holes with self love. We can seek our love from a source that never runs dry, a source that knows us so thoroughly that, if we let it, could close all the holes and keep our love tank overflowing. That source can only be our Creator, God.

Love’s cup runs over

When we truly have a healthy and positive relationship with the source of love, we find that we have more love to give to our partner. Despite their flaws, we continuously learn and relearn how to love them better… and for who they truly are. Now if our partner does the same, we have two overflowing tanks of love that never run dry. Troubles still come and we don’t always agree, but our reactions now come from a place of deep love and not fear. And that makes all the difference. We communicate with respect and understanding, knowing that even when we fight… we’re on the same team.

Yes, it all sounds like an uphill battle; but imagine the freedom that comes with knowing you are truly loved… flaws and all. It remains a choice: we can either listen to our ego telling us we’re alone and too flawed to be truly loved, or we can face the fear head on with hope lighting our way in love.

Yours in Inspiration

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1 Comment on “True Love Is An Inside Job

  1. I choose the latter 🙋🏾‍♀️ I pick facing the fear with hope lighting my way 💡Wonderful article Sam, well said 👌🏾

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