Things Not Said : The Angry Black Woman (conversations with a stranger)

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So I had a conversation with a random guy the other day about relationships. He was a black guy dating a white woman, of which he couldn’t be happier. But he told me something that I felt was unjust to our black sisters. He said that the reason he chose to date a different race was bacause our black sisters are angry, bitter and disrespectful.

Don’t get me wrong and I am 100% for any kind of relationship, as long as it’s for love. But in this particular relationship the reasons were clouded and unjust to the black woman.

Why do I say this?

Well lets unpack it a bit. You see most of our black women’s first relationships have often led in a heartbreak due to either cheating or peer pressure or whatever the reason be. This is from ages as early as 15 years old with your first love or first crush. From there on wards a woman might find the next eligible partner and let herself be taken away by “love”, but before we know it , the guy disappears and she is left with a broken heart once again or even worse-falls pregnant and guy dumps her and baby for the next young hot thing.

A woman will then get tired of getting hurt and will start building walls around her so that no man can break her again and she either assumes the position of the man by being a player, bossy, demanding, etc. Now for a black man to up and leave and give up on a black woman knowing what she has endured for years from our fellow black man is unfair. As much as the man might not have been the cause of the problem. Perhaps he grew up respecting women and treating them well however since he has recognised the problem, leaving only makes it worse. But now imagine what would happen if that man became a living example for other men on how to be a man for our women and also showing our women that there’s hope, that they deserve better.

I feel our black sisters are taken for granted far too much by our black brothers. They abuse and use our black sisters and once they don’t like who they turn out to be, due to their abuse, they up an leave and look for greener pastures. Our men refuse to take responsibility of their actions and are quick to judge us as women forgetting that the anger they see is a consequence of their actions towards us.


This does not justify a rude, disrespectful woman. I believe as a person you should never let a situation dictate your character and who you are however I also understand that we aren’t all built the same. One woman can easily sit herself up and strive higher, whilst another might suffer the consequences and become angry and bitter. But whatever way a woman survives, she should not be judged and disregarded but rather loved and hopefully that takes away all the pain and bitterness.

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Yours in ✍🏾


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