I’m learning to be a good friend to myself. I know it sounds corny but if I’m stuck with me for the rest of my life, I might as well learn to be kind to myself. I value and recommend self discovery. It’s a beautiful journey, and like any journey, it has both highs and lows. The lows include facing and dealing with the parts of yourself that you’d rather ignore. This is necessary and important if you want to reach your full potential. Ignoring the “ugly” parts of your character is the quickest route to self sabotage.
The ugliest manifestation of self sabotage are those negative subconscious beliefs. Believing you’re not good enough, or beautiful enough, or smart enough to be great or happy is dangerous. It can get to a point where you feel like a fraud, even when your achievements scream you’re capable of success. Ever heard of the Imposter’s Syndrome? Most negative beliefs are deeply ingrained in our subconscious because they’re learned so early in life. Our brain hears these for so long that it registers them as truth. Sounds like fighting a losing battle, doesn’t it?
But there is a way to win the fight.
You have to face and consciously counter those negative beliefs. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself, write them down so you know what they are. Once you know them, actively counter them through repetition. So instead of believing “my dreams aren’t realistic”, rather keep affirming “I have all the talent, skills and money I need to make my dreams a reality”. You might not have all the skill and money yet, but that’s the magic of faith. You don’t have to see something to believe it exists.
It sounds ridiculous at first, but believe me when I say that it works! If you keep at it, you’ll notice your negative beliefs being replaced by positivity. It’s only a matter of time before your actions fall in line with your new positive beliefs. The more your beliefs and actions align, the easier it will be for you to attract, recognize and make the most of useful opportunities. It all comes down to what you feed your brain. It all comes down to what you allow yourself to believe. You can learn to be kinder to yourself.