Negative Self Talk


I was complaining to a close friend of mine about not having any gents asking me out on dates, not being bought flowers and just not having any potential suitors that I can take seriously…

I’m obviously a beautiful girl and if we’re keeping it 35/65 then I should have a few suitors lining up right? But I have nothing, so evidently my milkshake is not bringing all the boys to the yard. In the middle of my rant, my friend interrupted me and asked me something that shut me up immediately – she asked: “if you want to go on dates and have potential suitors, why do you always dismiss the smallest advances from men. Why do speak negatively about relationships if you want one so badly?”.

It was almost as though a light bulb went on in my head – the boys aren’t coming to the yard because the fence is so high up! Babes, the boys barely see the yard let alone the milkshake.

I realised that I’ve been saying one thing but radiating the opposite of what I truly desire. How can I go on a date when I don’t even want to greet men back? How am I the same person that’s complaining about not having potential suitors when I know I give my number out just so I can block the number when they text me? I’m a terrible contradiction and I think most of us are, especially women. We say we want a good man, but we never give a man a chance to prove if he is good.

We say we want a committed relationship, but we can’t even commit to getting to know someone. We even do it outside of relationships, we can easily say we want a healthy working environment and yet be the most difficult co-worker in the office. We need to start radiating the energy we want to receive back. I’m always making fun of couples for wearing matching t-shirts and yet, I wouldn’t think twice about NOT doing it with the love of my life. I’m realising that it’s difficult to attract something that you hold no room for, either in your life, heart and mind.

If the love of your life approached you today, would you have the capacity to connect with him from a place of expectancy? We can’t possibly expect things to just fall into place without creating a place for them to fall into.  We often contradict ourselves when it comes to what we desire the most, we’re afraid of confidently voicing it out because we might feel like it’s a bit forward or we’re simply scared of being disappointed so we leave too much room for what we know might happen (which is ultimately disappointment) instead of holding room for what we desire to happen.

I can’t desire a loving and faithful man and be criticising and complaining about how there aren’t enough loving and faithful men out there and all of them are trash. If I expect trash, then I will receive exactly that. We need to do better when it comes to aligning our greatest desire with the words we speak and the energy we radiate.

I truly believe that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, whatever it is that you truly desire should be on your lips, speak positivity and radiate the same energy you desire back. Be more expectant for the things you desire the most, it’s not always going to be the way we want it to be but what if it is? We can’t negative self-talk our way into positive things.

Yours in inspiration,

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