It’s a big fat YAY from me!! (Had to get that out in the clear before my bestie thinks this is a break up & I get an unpleasant phone call).
What is it about having a male best friend that is so hard to understand by so many people? In 2017 ?? What is it about this friendship that has people raising their eyebrows and giving you a certain look when you introduce a guy as your best friend? I have one of those. He’s incredible. He’s a very important part of my life. We’ve been besties for almost 9 years now. (Although it took him a year to say the word ‘Bestie’ out loud because apparently that’s not a cool word and I might be shouted at for this but YOLO 🤷🏾♀️)
Yeah sure he won’t paint my nails or watch Beyoncé dvds the whole day with me (unless I’m going through heartbreak in which case he doesn’t have a choice) but there are definitely perks to being friends with him. My favourite perk being that my parents will let me go out at night with him cause they trust that I will be safe, since well, he’s a man. I think his favourite perk of being besties with me is that I’m an excellent wing man. The best 👌🏾 World Class – you can quote me on this!
Is it the “you marry your best friend…” rhetoric that is played out in the movies that has people’s panties tied in a knot? (We are not going to get married to each other so please stop asking this question and don’t hold your breath). If it is it then ya’ll gotta chill cause you can have more then one best friend in life (I have 5).
I fully understand and am the first to admit how having a bestie of the opposite sex can get a little tricky for your individual dating lives, especially if the female bestie is a pretty little thing (I can neither confirm nor deny if this is in reference to myself but my name is Buhle 💁🏾♀️😂) so maybe some insecurities may arise. In my experience I’ve found that after meeting the girlfriend and she experiences our friendship dynamic by hanging out with us, it no longer becomes an issue. They soon realise that there is absolutely nothing to worry about. (Except this one time but we don’t talk about that anymore 🤫). In fact, very soon a “we should do this and go there with Bubu” will come up in conversation.
There are some unwritten rules of course and lines that need not be crossed in delicate situations like this. When your male bestie has a girlfriend you get knocked off the number one spot, so you need to acknowledge that. You gotta fall back a bit (or a lot). She is the Queen 👸🏾now (I don’t usually take kindly to being dethroned, but I know my place when it comes to this). When you meet your besties girlfriend there are some do’s and don’ts.
You obviously know him a lot more than she does so DON’T show up and tell her all these things about him that she will eventually find out for herself. Nobody wants to hear how you, or anyone else for that matter, knows their man so well. You don’t want to seem like you are competing with her. DO spend time getting to know her, like I said earlier, and I will say it again: she’s the Queen now so she has to feel that way too, and you madam play a part in that too!
I don’t recall friendships being based on genital organs. That would be weird. And boring. Male besties are particularly handy in telling you all the stuff about boys that you don’t want to hear. That guy who is doing this and that and has you convinced that he really likes you? He’ll spot it out if it’s all games. They bring you tough love. A girl needs tough love. They answer “do I look fat in this” with absolute honesty and you’ll never be mad. You can’t be! It’s coming from a good place that you can trust. A boyfriend on the other hand has to give out the default “no” to avoid termination of the relationship because #LoveWillLeaveHere 💔
Friendships are formed through common interests and understandings. We are best friends with people because we can count on them, every single time. We enjoy their company. They add growth and value into our lives. They cry with us through the tough times and help us hide a dead body (so I’ve heard, I may be wrong). They make life a little more fun and interesting. They are also the first to sit us down and call us out for our bad behaviour. It shouldn’t matter what gender, what colour, shape or size they are. What matters is they do all this and a whole lot more.
Look I’m not saying go be best friends with a guy now. It’s not for everybody. And that’s okay. I’m just saying it happens. And it’s not strange. And it’s really cool.
I’m curious to hear some thoughts from the “Nay” sayers. Drop me a comment below 👇🏾 and let’s chat further. I won’t bite, I promise 🤞🏾
Love and light from me to you!
P.S Hi besties 🙋🏾♀️
Yours in ✍🏾