After heartbreak, or after a loss – my goodness even after experiencing some sort of defeat or failure, things just aren’t ever the same again, are they?..
I would like to believe that I am a faithful bearer of hope, and that I do my best to always have a positive attitude and I find this most difficult when attempting to “move on” after one of the above mentioned happens. Sometimes I do feel like somehow I am stuck in staccato, in between dwelling in my happy past and trying to move into the promising future.
But wait, before I get deeper and eventually allow myself to digress – the main inspiration for this blog post is how I felt (and continue to feel) about my mother, after she passed. It never was the same – I never was the same. I never could function the same, everything just wasn’t the same. I mean, for the life of me – I can never understand how life is expected to go on when it feels to me that it has ended. HOW???
It Could Never Be The Same
by Aphelele Chonco
I was with you when you took your last breath,
My heart broke when I learned I wouldn’t laugh with you ever again.
Expectation grew strong, and it was directing me towards forgetting about you.
I felt like I needed to die down the amount of pain that flooded my heart
My world came to a dead still,
A moment of silence that was way too long.
How do I get over you?
This was never part of the plan,
We were meant to be together for much longer.
I no longer want to trust anyone with my love,
I know no one is to be blamed for this,
Though I sometimes wish there was…
Written in loving memory of my mother and best friend, may you continue to rest in eternal peace my love – Ruby Phuti Chonco 💕