The honest truth is that when we hear or experience something that is suddenly (and negatively) mood altering we have a somewhat difficult time trying to ‘control ourselves’.
One lesson that life has taught me time and time again, is the importance of keeping my cool. Not just so I look cool, calm and collected, but also keeping calm put me at an advantage. How so? For a real simple reason really: Calm minds make much better decisions.
I know that keeping calm may prove particularly impossible in reaction to a rude remark or a selfish act. Well, perhaps trying these next five steps may help:
Stop: don’t act on or say anything.
Just when something negative happens, STOP. Don’t say or do anything because anything you say and do right now will definitely be informed by your anger. Just STOP ✋🏾
Take a step back from it.
Continue with that stopping and take yourself out of that situation. Even if you take a walk or listen to some soothing music, just take yourself out of your own shoes (not literally🙄🤣)
Observe the situation: your thoughts & feelings.
So while you are still taking a step back, make a conscience effort to observe your thought, feelings and emotions. Go ahead and ask yourself: “How do I feel?” and “Why am I feeling that way?” – The answer to these questions will let you know what it is exactly that upsets you about what happened.
Practice some breathing exercises & muscle relaxation techniques.
Alright, so I’m not talking about an intense yoga/pilates routine here. Just for you to be aware of your body and to have control over your breathing. Take it easy…
Resume mindfully: be assertive.
So now that you have taken some time to process things in a calm space you can carry on mindfully. Watch here not to be aggressive and passive. Make your points heard and understood, but also take some time to listen and be understanding.
Next time you find yourself in a situation where you get angry, don’t start a fight. Stop, take a step back, observe the situation, relax your body and breathing, then continue mindfully. Try this out, it has definitely helped me. Let me know if you find it helpful too…
Yours in ✍🏾